Life can often feel like a relentless whirlwind of activity, with daily demands, responsibilities, and to-do lists pulling us in every direction. It’s easy to find ourselves longing for more time to simply rest. After the frenzy of the holiday season, do you ever feel like you need a holiday to recover from the last one? How do we cultivate true rest when we need it most, and how can we make it a regular part of our lives rather than an elusive luxury?
What Is Rest?
Rest is more than just sleep; it’s about cultivating a sense of ease and presence in our lives. Rest allows us to step out of a constant state of hyperarousal—that go-go-go mentality fueled by busyness, stress, and external pressures. When we’re stuck in this state, we’re often reacting to real or imagined threats, daily expectations, or the sheer weight of the world. True rest offers a refuge—a space where our bodies, minds, and spirits can restore and recharge.
Tricia Hersey, fonder of The Nap Ministry and author of Rest is Resistance, reframes rest as a radical act of self-care and social justice. She reminds us that rest is a profound act of reclaiming our humanity. "Rest is a portal to healing, a portal to imagination, and a portal to our freedom." Her words challenge us to see rest not as indulgent but as essential—a way to resist a culture that glorifies exhaustion.
But what does rest actually feel like? It might manifest as a sense of balance, contentment, or calm. It could mean less resistance to challenges, quieter mental chatter, or even just the ability to tackle projects with renewed energy. The key is recognizing what rest looks like for you and creating the conditions that invite it into your life.
The 7 Types of Rest
Rest is not a one-size-fits-all. According to Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, author of Sacred Rest, "Rest is not simply the absence of activity but the intentional choice to take care of all aspects of our well-being." She identifies seven types of rest that address different dimensions of our lives.
Physical Rest: Prioritize quality sleep and relaxation. Incorporate gentle activities that ease tension in your body.
Mental Rest: Take breaks from constant decision-making and problem-solving. Mindfulness practices, hobbies, or even a retreat can help.
Emotional Rest: Be honest about your feelings, seek support, and step away from draining situations.
Sensory Rest: To reduce sensory overload, turn off devices, dim the lights, or spend time in quiet, natural spaces.
Creative Rest: Reconnect with beauty—whether through art, music, or nature—to rejuvenate your creativity.
Social Rest: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Create space from relationships that feel draining.
Spiritual Rest: Find meaning and purpose through meditation, prayer, or connecting with something larger than yourself.
So ask yourself: what restores your wellbeing when you’re feeling stressed or depleted and need to rest? What type of rest appeals to you in those moments? Once you are aware of the type of rest you need, you can begin to seek it out.
How to Cultivate Rest
Rest doesn’t always come easily. Sometimes, creating space for rest feels impossible (I understand this firsthand as a new parent). Still, it’s essential to protect your time and energy and set healthy boundaries where you can. This doesn’t mean shutting the world out but rather learning to take care of yourself in the midst of challenging situations and nurturing what restores you.
Self-compassion is a vital ally in this process. It gives us permission to seek out rest by reminding us that we are deserving of care and restoration. When we remember this simple truth, we shift our mindset from seeing rest as indulgence to recognizing it as a necessity. Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, notes, "Self-compassion is a way of emotionally recharging our batteries." When we treat ourselves with warmth and support in times of stress—just as we would a dear friend—we recharge emotionally and build resilience to cope with life’s challenges. With self-compassion, we prioritize rest as a way of meeting our needs rather than seeing it as a luxury or a sign of weakness.
If we feel depleted or overwhelmed, we can ask ourselves the quintessential self-compassion question, “What do I need? What do I truly need right now?”. For the people pleasers, the go-getters, and the caregivers among us, this question can feel unfamiliar or even uncomfortable, but the clarity this answer provides can be surprising in its truth and simplicity. Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or hard to access; it might just be that we aren’t used to advocating for ourselves in this way. It might feel selfish or self-indulgent, and yet it’s worth remembering that we can't truly be there for others if we don’t also show up for ourselves and with kindness and compassion.
As a first-time mum, advocating for my needs is more challenging than ever! I’ve always cherished my early mornings—the solitude and quiet it affords me to take time for myself. Pausing to gather my thoughts, journal, or simply savor my first cup of coffee in peace is a sacred ritual that I used to take for granted. I no longer have the luxury of waking up whenever and however I please, but I can ask my partner to take care of our daughter when she wakes and give me thirty uninterrupted minutes to restore an inner sense of calm that sets a positive tone for my day. Being compassionate with myself, I can ask for what I need and give myself grace when those moments are hard to attain. Admitting when I’m struggling and asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of self-awareness, courage, and self-preservation. It also models to my daughter how I’d like her to honor and care for herself as she gets older.
Once we know our go-to practices for cultivating an embodied sense of rest, we can find simple ways to cultivate them. Here are some strategies that work for me:
Mindfulness: Practicing being present with no agenda, welcoming what’s here with kindness and warmth.
Self-Kindness: Extending compassion toward yourself, especially during stressful times.
Daily Habits: Building rest into your routine. You can do this through a short mindfulness practice, a gratitude journal, or moments of stillness.
Nervous System Care: Engage in activities that downregulate your nervous system, like remembering to breathe, doing some gentle movement, petting the dog, or spending time in nature.
Returning to Your Inner Refuge
Rest invites us to return to our center—to a place of inner refuge that is always accessible, even in the busiest of times. When we allow rest to find us, it nourishes us deeply, fostering balance, resilience, and presence. With self-compassion as our guide, we can prioritize rest without guilt, knowing it strengthens us for whatever challenges lie ahead.
As we navigate the demands of daily life, let us make space for this sacred practice. Rest is not a luxury; it is a necessity—a gift we give to ourselves and, in turn, to those we love.
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